Faith and Family - A mainstay for Valentines

Since the nineteenth-century, the sending of Valentines has been a fashion that is now celebrated each year on Feb. 14. The popularity of Valentine cards in 19th century America grew, with cards now being general greeting cards rather than declarations of love. Today, it’s considered one of the Hallmark holidays.
The United States Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas. The association also estimated that, in the United States, men spend twice as much money as women.
But beyond the romance associated with Valentine’s Day that is exchanged between young couples and newlyweds comes the ebb and tide of longevity in relationships, and the glue that binds marriages together beyond the earlier days of courtship and the exchanging of gifts as gestures of love.
One local couple from Waverly, N.Y. talked about the ingredients for keeping a relationship strong as they have done for nearly 60 years. And they also talked of the way things have changed from the onset of their introduction in 1950, and what they have done throughout their life to keep their marriage strong.
Just weeks after the couple celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary, we talked to them about what ingredients are necessary for making a marriage work as well as the values of marriage and how faith plays a key role in that equation.
Annalee (Tillotson) Wright and Mark Wright met in the 1950’s in what was described by the couple as a chance encounter.
Mark had graduated in 1946 from Troy High School and was working at a local farm making $30 a week. Annalee, who is a few years younger than Mark, was still attending Canton High School at the time and was in her senior year.
Mark’s brother, Wayne Wright, had married Annalee’s sister, and Mark was being persuaded to meet her other sister, Ella Mae.
But on the day that Mark went to meet Ella Mae Tillotson she wasn’t home - but Annalee was.
Being shy in nature, Annalee described how she didn’t want to meet anyone, so she hid behind a shed near the outhouse of the family’s home - hoping that Mark wouldn’t see her. But Mark finally found her, and the two began talking and eventually went to the movies together.
On Feb. 3, 1951, just nine months later, the couple got married. And within another nine months, and following Annalee’s high school graduation from Canton High, the couple had their first child.
“The year 1951 was a good year,” said Annalee who was sitting near her husband - 59 years later - in their Waverly, N.Y. home. “I graduated, I got married, and I had my first child,” she added.
The couple lived in Troy initially, and Annalee recalled being bused from Troy to Canton for four months until she graduated. The couple also reminisced of their small wedding, and how they traveled to Towanda to marry at the Methodist Church. According to the couple, the only people present at the wedding were themselves, and Pastor Bennett and his wife. The Pastor’s wife stood up for them, according to the Wright’s.
But at $30 a week for farming, Mark was soon advised by Annalee’s brother, the late Bill Tillotson, that if he was going to raise a family he had better get a higher paying job.
Bill was a driver for Stroehmann’s Bakery in Sayre, Pa., so Mark soon followed suit and went to work for Stroehmann’s initially as a salesman, and then eventually as a supervisor.
With the new job, and a new family on the horizon, the Wright’s relocated to Waverly, N.Y. and began their family in the home that they still reside in today on Lincoln Street.
Mark and Annalee both came from large families, with nine children comprising each, so the eventual birth of nine children for the couple came naturally, and was almost a family tradition.
The family, in a timeframe that spanned 25 years - with less than two years separating each child, grew to welcome Melanie (Wright) Horvat, Marjorie Wright, Paula (Wright) Tompkins, Stephen Wright, Regina (Wright) Moon, Jeffrey Wright, Mark Wright, Beth Wright, and Joe Wright.
Raising all nine of their children in their four bedroom home on Lincoln Street in Waverly, N.Y. became the main focus for the Wright’s, and was what they described as very good years.
Because Mark was working from 3:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. when he worked as a driver, Annalee described herself as the main disciplinarian. “If he didn’t like the fashion in which I disciplined the kids he didn’t say anything until we could talk about it in private,” said Annalee. This maintained peace within the household. “If we had to discuss things,” said Annalee, “we would wait until later in the night.”
This communication, according to the Wrights, was key to a lasting marriage. “You have to learn to communicate,” said Annalee who would leave her husband a written note if they weren’t able to sit down and talk because of their hectic schedules.
And when Mark became a supervisor for Stroehmann’s, new hours allowed him to go to work later and come home earlier and enabled him to start spending more leisure time with his children - like fishing, hunting, and attending their school sporting events.
And Annalee described what a household with nine children was like. On an average day Annalee would assign chores for all the children, and they would share the monumental task of laundry.
“We had about five loads of laundry every day,” said Annalee. “I would hang them on the line, and the kids would take them down, fold them, and then put them away.”
And although Annalee described herself as the disciplinarian - the one who enforced order and rules - she also described mark as the foundation of the family. “Mark was dad on the totem pole,” Annalee explained. “He was the apple of their eye.”
She also talked of the unity of the family, and how birthday parties were never out of the home - they would have the parties where they reside. She also described how friends would come to the home to play cards with them, and how their social life and everything they did was centered on the home.
“Some people used to ask me, how can you raise nine kids in that 4-bedroom home,” said Annalee. “Well we did it,” she added.
But, according to Annalee, it wasn’t all “Love and Honey“. The family was met with tragedy on two different occasions. As the children grew older, and began to move from home, the family would be met with some uncertain fate.
At the age of 49, the couple’s daughter Marjorie was working for the Sheriff’s Department in Texas when she was hit by an 18-wheeler and eventually succumbed to her injuries. With tears in her eyes, Annalee talked of this tragic accident today, and how it was a most difficult time for her in her life. Their daughter Melanie (Wright) Horvat also passed away suddenly from a heart attack during the prime of her life as a real estate broker in Waverly.
But according to Annalee, her strong faith in belief as Jesus Christ as her Savior got her through these difficult times - a faith that still serves her well today.
By 1990, the couple’s last child moved from home, and Mark retired in 1989. Mark chuckled a bit, saying that his last child probably moved out because he came home.
But most of their children remained in the area, with Beth living in Lockwood and working as a manager for the Nichols Dandy Mini Mart; Joe working for the Village of Waverly; Jeffrey living in Lockwood and working for LaPrino’s; Paula working as a nurse at Arnot Helath; and Stephen operating a sports shop on the Broad Street Extension in Waverly. Their other children have relocated with Mark, who is also retired from the Air Force working as an Air Traffic Controller in North Dakota; and Regina working for the oil industry in Odessa, Texas.
But then, just three years ago, the family was hit with another blow when Mark was diagnosed with a form of Parkinson’s disease, adding a new chapter of challenges to their life. “This is the time of life that you learn to take one day at a time,” said Annalee.
Between the time of Mark’s retirement, and his diagnosis of Parkinson’s, the couple spent time traveling, and visiting their children. Annalee also began fishing with Mark, a sport that he always enjoyed.
When asked, Annalee admits that she catches more fish than her husband. But now, the couple stays home more often, and their social life has been reduced because of the effects of Mark‘s illness.
“It’s a whole different lifestyle now,” said Annalee. Staying at home much of the time, except for their attendance at the Baptist Church in Sayre every Sunday, the couple enjoys watching television and Annalee is working on putting together photo albums for her children.
Soon to celebrate 60 years of marriage, Annalee talked confidently about the main ingredient that has held them together for so many years - communication.
“If people would just learn to communicate more - they could work through anything,” said Annalee. “People just don’t seem to do that anymore.”
And as far as Valentine’s Day, Mark and Annalee don’t go over the top in its celebration - but they are looking forward to what their family may have in store for them on Feb. 3, 2011 - the year that they will celebrate 60 years of marriage.